Tired But Hopeful

Things were not going smoothly in my life. My school, my relationship and church ministries. Well in school, I was wondering how come my grades drop very drastically. The only reason I can think of is that I am not confident in myself especially when doing my final year project. But I am making effort in doing my revision and rest early so that I will not be a stoner the next day.

In relationship, I am very lost and angry that I cannot make a decision whether I love the person that I was with the last time. There are certain things that I felt that was the decisions sometime that the person make is something that I am not comfortable that I just gave in to her. I felt that men should be making decisions including small, unwanted and unnoticable details. I did my best by telling her that I will not call her during her lessons in school because I felt that she need to spent time with her close friends. I always thing for her in all this small minor details but I guess she just want to talk to me. It is alright but not with her friends. I really want to respect her friends too by not saying romantic words in front of them. But I guess there is nothing I can do about it this time. Right now she is working and I am studying still. I just hope that I do care and think about things that are stupid even though it does not make sense to her at all.

Lastly regarding church ministries, I felt that the church I am attending always let history repeats itself. I was wondering why we go to school to learn about History. The simple reason is because we do not want to repeat history by itself again. I just felt that the AV team for year 2005/2006 had put in a lot of effort co-ordinating with the Worship team regrading their worship practice on saturday by calling the respective worship leaders through various sources or should I say my friends. I BELIEVED my team that I am working with is tired of getting information last minute information that we cannot be able setup various AV equipment. To my brother and sisters-in-christ, the reason why I would like to have the worship schedule is that I will be able to setup equipment that are in good working conditions on Saturday to let you people be able to practice on sunday without any problems. Also, to learn how to manage and plan what can be done to improve when the service is about to start. I believe in order to have a effective worship, the equipment that you people are using, the powerpoint that shows the song lyrics and the worship team should work together so that there will not be any hiccups or distraction during services. I remember I dispatch an electronic mail regarding this matter. Hopefully things will be better as I am no longer a Student Leader for the time being. I do not demand for perfection but at least do an excellent job for the Lord. Not me.

To Sum up this whole message. I am not attacking you people but I hope that you will be able to think for the others. Not yourself. Have a nice day.